Letters of Recommendation

So asked for a few letters of recommendation. This is what I got:

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Grandma Gene Doner

Let's face it the kid has great genes! Any kid should be so lucky.

Grandma Gene Doner on the Mom's Side

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Associate Grandmum

To whom it may concern:


Bater Bright is one of the Brightest young cells I know. I have only known Bater since Christmas morning, but this cell has been blessed with considerable talent, patience and the uncanny ability to think, plan and act on thoughts for such a young age. Bater has an indepth knowledge of Cells and Human Anatomy, and is self disciplined. Bater is good natured, shows humility and has demonstrated his excitement and enthusiasm for life. Bater has loving and intelligent parents who can give this cell all the attention and guidance it needs to be a productive citizen and would be a great asset to your company.

Thank you for your consideration.


Associate Grandmum

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Grandma

Dear Bater,

I was overjoyed when your Mommy and Daddy told your grandpa and me about your future arrival. It has been a Grandma's pleasure to have read your blog posts over these past couple of weeks. I am very excited to watch your progress and the the excitement that you have about your own growth. I can't wait for these next few months to pass so I can see you. So far though, you are definitely the most capable and the best looking blueberry in the patch.

All my love,

Grandma

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Uncle Pathan Nuzey

12 January 2010

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing on behalf of Bater, the son or daughter of Dude and Eye, regarding a position at your company.

I’ve known ‘lil Bater for almost three weeks now. Although I don’t know if he/she is a girl or a boy, I can attest to the fact that he/she is awesome (aka the forrealforshizzle). As Bater’s honorary uncle I’ve witnessed (secondhand) countless amazing things—here are just a few:

• Already grown to the size of a poppy seed and has a fully functioning heart
• Very photogenic when cross sectioned with an ultrasound
• Soon to have working fingers and toes
• Very persuasive (able to make Mom eat whatever sounds good that day)
• Emails and texts are informational yet witty

I highly recommend Bater for any position, at any company, at any time, in any galaxy, and in any dimension (I probably went too far with the dimension part... I’m just trying to ensure that my letter is applicable in the future).

Please call me if you need any other information.

Sincerely,

Pathan Nuzey

Vice President of Awesome Uncles Inc.
555-555-5555