Wednesday, March 31, 2010

101 and Counting!

So yesterday I hit 100 straight posts! Woohoo! Anyways, thought that was cool. Yesterday, I had to be a little forceful with Mommy. Lately, she has been choosing wonderful food! I love it, however, yesterday she didn't eat something I liked, so I had to really let her know it. She had severe nausea from it. Last night, as well, Mommy, Daddy and I cleaned more in the house. I'm getting excited! Things are looking great! In fact I was so excited that last night when Mommy laid down, I did a back flip for the first time! It was awesome, I will have to do more of those. Anyways off to bed.

- Bater

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Great Stuff Migration of 2010

So Grandma and Grandpa are coming tomorrow. That means it's time for Mommy and Daddy to start the grea stuff migration. Last night they were cleaning and organizing my room and the spare room. I think it's kind of cool, I get my own room, and Grandma and Grandpa have to share a room! He he he, I'm not even born yet! Anyways, everything is looking good. Yesterday I discovered if I scrunch myself into a ball, and then push lightly off Mommy's tummy I can just float for a little bit. It's kind of fun returning to your roots!

- Bater

Monday, March 29, 2010

Baby and The Shark - Bark

What do you get when you cross a baby with a shark? That's right, a bark! And trust me, their bite is worse than their bark! Mommy can't decide if she felt me move yesterday or not. But really, I'm like a great white shark...swimming quietly around for my next victim! I will jump soon, and Mommy and Daddy will see my face through Mommy's tummy. Then I will descend once again, waiting and preying on the next young blood cell to swim by. This bark, is probably the quietest bark you will ever see, not to mention the only bark you will ever see.

- Bater

Mommy disclaimer: any illusion to or speaking of Me as a shark or any other creature of the dark, is not necessarily approved by nor encouraged by Mommy. This message was expressly supported by Daddy. Any further repercussions due to comparing a baby to a shark, are the responsibility of Daddy.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Happy Week Day!

18 weeks, 5 1/2 inches, the size of a bell pepper and extremely active! Oh, and I look like a flying squirrel! Just kidding. I found out this morning that my ears are finally in place, but they stick out from the side of my head! Oh well, I hope they attach themselves a little more before I make my appearance. Anyways, it's been a fun ride the last week. Every time Mommy coughs, I get to go up and down and up and down. It's a lot better than the earthquake, it's kind of soothing. Daddy was gone all day yesterday for a wedding shoot, then he came home and died. I don't want to roll over and kick him, because he might start smelling already. I've only read about rigor mortis, I just don't want to experience it right now! He also kept waking Mommy up with his snoring all night long. Anyways, I'm starting to get hungry, time to push the button!

- Bater

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Oh Woe is Me!

So Mommy keeps thinking that I am just moving around, but what she doesn't know is that I am really running a steel cup over the bars of my proverbial jail! Let me out! Yesterday, can you believe she put a waist band on me? I had to push it away! She also has been feeding me more chocolate of late. I don't like chocolate, so I made her sick yesterday in protest. Besides that, I am OK. Send help...please! Let me out! Wait...I still have 4 1/2 months to man! That stinks!

Your little locked up embryo,

- Bater

Friday, March 26, 2010

Restless Daddy

Last night, I was not the restless one. I could hear Daddy rolling around and tossing all night long. He then got up around 430 and didn't go back to bed. So in honor of my Daddy, I wrote him a poem.

Zombie Daddy

Tired. Restless. Bloodshot eyes.
Working. Breathing. One of the guys.
Tossing. Turning. Makes Bater cry.
Stop it!

I'm going back to sleep.

- Bater

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Womb-athlon

You've hear of the Biathlon and the Triathlon, but have you ever heard of the Womb-athlon? I didn't think so. Last night, around 8:00, I started my first womb-athlon. It is a Marathon combined with womb diving and extreme umbilical swinging! So I started with the Marathon. My little legs were just a moving as fast as they could go. Mommy felt me running the whole way. When I finished there I took up the womb diving portion. This is where you climb to the highest part of the womb and then jump to the bottom. You have three attempts to woo the judges. I got 3rd place. I don't know how as I was the only one competing, but oh well. Finally we had the umbilical swing. That was fun! You climb up to a high spot and then you jump out over the placenta with the umbilical cord. You let go and then you just bounce! It's really cool! Anyways, I'm tired now, so I will talk to you all later.

- Bater

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Wiggle, Wiggle, Nudge Nudge

Last night, while in the car, Mommy was eating an apple and I was squished by the seatbelt. I had had it with being un-comfortable so I let Mommy know it. I kicked over and over again just to voice my opinion... and she FINALLY felt it! She stopped mid sentence and looked down and said: "I think I just felt the Baby move!" Of course the non-believer that Daddy is, he just kept saying "are you sure?" Well, I just want to say: "Yes Daddy, she felt me move!" Let's hope he believes her by the time I start to break out of here or I just might be born somewhere other than a hospital!

- Bater

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


So, I'm a little sad. I would have thought I would have gotten a whole lot more people voting rather than just one person. Is this site on? If you can, vote on the poll below. Anyways, all is well. Mommy went to the dr.'s office for her head cold. It seems like she made it through the night a little better. I am getting more and more excited about my bones. Did you know, if you press your hand down in the middle of your forearm, you can feel two bones? That's right there are two! We embryos are just fascinated at how bones grow. Before I had bones growing in, my arm looked like Harry potter with no bones in his arm. It was all floppy and strange. Anyways, I hope you all get to vote, but now I am going to go bloodcell surfing. I will tell you about it later.

- Bater

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Debate Is On! has begun! Mommy and Daddy are at it again: they can't decide on what I will be. I know who I am. I know whether I am a boy or a girl, buy I am not telling. It is time for you to vote! Which will I be: a boy or a girl! It's not going to matter which you choose, I've already made up my mind, however, it will be fun to see what people think. By the way, I hate to tell you this, but half of you will be wrong. Oh and Daddy is right! (this answer paid for by the Rocky Mountain chapter of the Daddy council for the advancement of fatherly tendencies. The positions or opinions expressed in this answer do not reflect the opinions of the blogger nor his Mother.) Let the polling begin!

What do you think I will be?
Girl free polls

- Bater

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Happy Week Day!

Happy Week Day all! I am now 17 weeks along and 5 inches long! It's been a cruise week, you know just kind of growing and cruising along. I'm about as heavy as a turnip! Yes it's true. So the strangest things happened to me this morning. So I woke up this morning after a long night. Mommy was up until 1 or 130 last night coughing. I wanted to let her know I didn't like her being up so late. So I kicked her like always, only, my foot didn't squish like it used to. It was firm. I started feeling my arms and legs and all, guess what, I have bones! That's right, I'm toughening right up. I don't think Mommy felt me kick, but it will only be a matter of time. So as I was kicking up a storm in here, all of a sudden I felt something wet, ok more than usual as I am in a placenta, dripping down my head and down my back. I reached up and put some of this on my thumb and sucked it. It was salty tasting. I looked it up on wikipedia by typing: "salty excretion". I found that I am sweating! It is the nastiest feeling ever, and there is no shower! None whatsoever! So I am going to call first thing Monday morning and have a plumber come out and install a shower. I like to smell fresh. Can you believe not showering or washing for 9 months? We get a little stinky. A lot people say babies smell nice, like something called baby powder, but really it's just 9 months of "blood, sweat, and tears". Anyways, Mommy is getting better and yesterday we all got to get out and about. It was fun. Well off to sleep I go. Later.

- Bater

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Tummy Fever

I have to get out of here! Ok maybe not really, but I have GOT to get Mommy to do something today and next week. All we have been doing is going to school and then coming home! She's sick, but I hope that changes shortly. So all is well, besides just being trapped in here. Tomorrow is my week day, so that will be fun. I hope I get some ice cream!

- Bater

Friday, March 19, 2010

Modern Day Wonders

I am so grateful for umbilical cameras and modern day blogs and the such. I am able to communicate more effectively. Can you believe that a friend of mine, she's 36 weeks along, has to just sit and float inside Her Mommy with nothing to do? That is just wrong. I guess they just don't have Mommy-net in her area. Anyways...being grateful for many things is important. It helps me appreciate the fact that I don't have to really do anything but grow! I guess I just wanted to say: thank you Mommy! You're the Best!

- Bater

Thursday, March 18, 2010


It started a couple of days ago about 6 in the morning. There I was sound asleep when this rumbling came and then Mommy's tummy came alive. It shook and jostled all over the place. My pictures fell down and my mattress fell off the bed with me in it! It lasted a few seconds then stopped. Then it repeated every 10 mins or so for the rest of the day! Mommy really needs to stop coughing. It makes me get a little cranky not being able to sleep! Now good night, I need to sleep...(please no more coughing and blowing your nose, I just replaced my pictures on the wall)

- Bater

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Amniotic Sky Diving

Have you ever tried it? Have you ever climbed to the top of mount colon and jumped off to see what would happen? It is AWESOME! It was so much fun! Last night I got bored so I decided to go amniotic sky diving. You don't need a parachute or anything just climb to the highest point and jump! The amniotic fluid will slow your descent and Mommy's appendix will stop you. I tried back flips, and twists and all sorts of aerobatic feets! It was awesome. There was a point I got a red blood cell stuck in the ear but I just shook it out and kept going. I love being inside Mommy. Do I really want to get out? Time will only tell.

- Bater

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I Amb Sick!

I amb sick! Ok, maybe I'm not, but Mommy is. So because she is I am! Daddy gave us his cold! We can't figure out how, but we know he did it! Mommy has to go and teach today sounding like a man. Quite interesting. Anyways, all is well besides that. I just learned how to put my fingers together without being able to see them! Remember my eyes are still fused together. Anyways, I have to go help Mommy blow her nose, so until tomorrow.

- Bater

Monday, March 15, 2010

Beware the Ides of...

You would think that with a warning from a strange person, Julius Ceasar would have bewared the Ides of March! Am I wrong about that? Sorry, just had to rant. It was my assigned reading for one of my classes. Why I don't know. Something about the schools wanting to get ahead of the curve so they are sending homework to their future students. It's to be done before we enroll. I hope I'm able to learn calculus before I have to enroll. Anyways... Yesterday at church was crazy for Mommy and I. Daddy went home sick and with a tweaked back, so I had to protect Mommy from all those little kids wanting her attention! Sooner or later she will feel my kicks of warning when one gets too close! Anyways, then we went to dinner...corned beef and cabage. Not a fan! I let Mommy know. Anyways, today is bound to be an interesting day and the week the same. Now, I need to go to sleep. Remember beware the ides of march! I love that phrase!

- Bater

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Happy Week Day!

16 weeks! Can you believe it? New hated food for the week: guacamole! I'm now the size of an avocado! It's been a really interesting time so far. Supposedly between this week and the next month, Mommy will feel me kick for the first time. I don't know why she hasn't felt me before, I have been kicking her for a while! So the coolest thing is starting to happen. I think one of the most painful things I have read about on the Internet, is when someone stubs their toe. I don't ever want to have that happen to me, so I was thinking about that and lo and behold, my body started growing little shields all over my toes. That's right, I have toenails now! Now, how am I going to trim those? Anyways, all is going well. I'm now about 4 1/2 inches long and my heart is pumping about 25 quarts of blood a day. And by the way, my scalp is starting to sprout hair. All in all, this is a great week. I really get to start growing fast. Look out world, here I come.

- Bater

Saturday, March 13, 2010


Here I am inside Mommy, and I am growing. I am growing so fast right now, I don't fit in any of my clothes. I put in a call to the BSA (Baby Salvation Army), they are supposed to come by later this morning. I hope I'm not asleep. So now that I have nothing left to wear, I think I will just go naked from here on out. So for a long time now, my legs have always been disproportionately smaller than the rest of my body. (Do you like that really big word? I love google and copy and paste). Now that they are finally catching up with the rest of my body, I am starting to look normal! WooHoo! Well, time to goto bed. TTYL!

- Bater

Friday, March 12, 2010

Whisperings From the Womb

Last night was a war between wills! Mommy and I had our first fight! She ate a salad again. She loves salad and lettuce, but I don't like it! So I started to make her sick. I wanted to express my frustrations. She then began to talk to me and try and convince me that I needed to like salad. I'm sorry but no! I just don't like it. I cannot will not with a fox. I cannot will not in a box. I do not like green lettuce, Mommy. Well, we went to bed both a little hungry, but I hope all goes well today.

- Bater

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Peaches, Milk and Grapefruit

I LOVE FRUIT! There you have it, my confession! My name is Bater and I am a fruit-i-holic, it's been 11 hours since my last fruit, but intend to change that. My new favorite food that I just have to have so I crave it is fruit and milk. The other day Mommy and Daddy were walking through the grocery store and they saw these fresh fruit cups. They got some and now I am hooked. Mommy woke up, yesterday, to my growling for more. She thought it was her stomach growling because she was hungry, I hate to tell her but it was me. I need fruit! Espeially Grapefruit. Peaches are good too. Now "Feed me Mommy-more".

- Bater

P.S.- no fruit was mixed with milk during the writing of this blog. Milk is to drink and fruit to eat.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Stream of Ease

So it's probably not to easy for Mommy but for me, growing up in here is a little easier right now. I'm sitting back and just enjoying the stream of food that comes each day. I just kinda move ever so often and just float! My new house is great. I get to go down by the stream of red blood cells and just laze around! Pre-retirement never felt so good. We did the move of stuff from the church to our home yesterday. There was no key to the new church building yet, so we had to wait. Well, I am going to go back to sipping white bloodcell juice boxes and then hit the hay! Until next time.

- Bater

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Tuesday and the Nursery Move

I've got my dolly cart, my gloves, my duct tape, my boxes and plenty of food to eat because today Mommy and Daddy and the Ward are moving church buildings. We have to move the nursery toys and all. It will be a big endeavor but it's ok, they have me! I'm an excellent delegator. I mean consider the fact that I don't even have to feed my self, I have delegated that responsibility to Mommy! ;) I will try to help by not getting in the way ;).

Yesterday I think I over did it with the power sucking because by 630 Mommy was drifting in and out of consciousness. I need to pay attention to how much juice I am using. I guess I shouldn't run the washing machine, the toaster, the microwave and the game system at the same time. Oops! Sorry Mommy!

- Bater

Monday, March 8, 2010

The Baby Whisperer

Daddy is SO weird. Yesterday morning, as Mommy and he woke up, they were talkin about their day and all, and then I heard it and felt it! I felt Mommy's tummy press slightly in and then a sound started coming through... It was Daddy's voice! I know he was saying stuff to me but I couldn't make out what he was saying! You know, I am sure there are tons of books and all out there and they all say talk to your baby. It's true. We can hear you and respond with motion. But I hate to tell you this: we don't understand what you are saying! We just have never talked. We don't know your language! Through out life there are several instances of this:
1. As an embryo
2. As a baby until about 2 or 3
3. As a teenager between 13-19
4. As a single adult between 20-25
5. As an old person: whenever we lose our sanity and hearing due to our own kids.

So just so that you know Daddy, there are only a select few times that I will understand you... Keep talking, you might hit one of those times! ;)

- Bater

P.S. - here's the latest Mommy pic!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Happy Week Day!

So I am 15 weeks today! I'm a big kid now. Did you know I'm starting to move amniotic fluid in and out of my nose? It's my way of building my lungs. Did you know as well that I am responsive to light? I can't see it as my eyelids are STILL fused shut, but I can sense it, so I move away. It's a common thing for babies to do. Also, did you know? I am starting to have taste buds come in! There's nothing to taste, but that's ok. Well this little 4 inch bundle of joy is tired. Being the size of an apple and growing 1/2 inch a week makes one tired. So I am going to go to sleep.

- Bater

Saturday, March 6, 2010


This is a call out to the Babies of the world! Come and join me in helping to rid this world of Leaf Lettuce! It is nasty stuff. There is no nutrition and we don't like the flavor! Stand up and let your Mommy's know! I did yesterday by pressing Mommy's nautious button. Unite with me and we will have a B.A.L.L. Or rather Babies Against Leaf Lettuce! Now how do I get more milk in me?

- Bater

Friday, March 5, 2010

A Horrifying Dr.'s Visit

I am SO lucky to be able to write this down. I had a traumatizing experience yesterday. I had a Dr.'s appointment yesterday. All was well. Mommy and Daddy asked a couple of questions and the midwife answered them. And then the horror began. As I was just sitting here minding my own business I felt a slight pressure on Mommy's stomach. At first I just thought, eh no big deal. Then I felt I needed to move. So I moved opposite of the pressure. Then the pressure moved over the top of me again. So I moved again. That is when something grabbed me and strapped me to a table and pressed a strange little device up against my chest and left it there for a little bit. Then all of a sudden it was gone, I was unstrapped and left alone to try and figure out what just happened. Well it turns out, after talking with other embryos, that this is normal. What!? I said. They told me it was my parents and Dr. trying to listen to my heart beat. Well if that's the case now they know why it is so fast, you scared me to death! Please, if you just want to listen send me the recorder and I will do it myself! Anyways, I'm healthy and all is well. I will have a cool surprise for everyone in 6 weeks. Stay tuned!

- Bater

Thursday, March 4, 2010

From Night Owl to Mornin Person and the Journey in Between

It's official! Mommy is becoming a morning person! Ssssssshhhhhh! Not so loud! Keep the cheering to a minimum please, I don't want her to hear. Last night and for several past nights, Mommy has come home and when she sits down on the couch, boom, she's out! Last night she fell asleep around 8 and then we all were in bed by 10:00. She was so out of it that Daddy took the remote from her and her hand just stayed in the same position. She also is getting up earlier around 5:00. I am so happy! I think it has something to do with me stepping on the power cord, but we won't tell her that. So, to all you night owls out there, have a baby! It will change your life and your schedule. (this message is a public service announcement. The opinions addressed here in, are not necessarily the opinions of Mommy.)

- Bater

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Big Announcement

So Mommy and Daddy have been trying to keep me under the radar for a while now. Last night they announced my coming to their facebook world. So it is official to the rest of you out there, I am coming. I am flattered to have so many followers! I'd like to thank the academy for... Wait sorry! I was channeling my inner Hollywood there for a second. Anyways, all is going well. I get to start a new class today called: Undulating Propulsion Around Nether Diaphragm Doing Overhand Weights with Nancy or UPANDDOWN. Nancy is my gym teacher. She is getting me into shape with this class. It is all about exercising parts of my body while swimming around and finding new ways to propel myself. It ought to be fun!

- Bater

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Life As a Stool and The Things I Can do Now

So last night we all went over to Pyler's house to play! It was so much fun! I got to watch pyler and widgie play. I do have one minor little problem with pyler now: he sits on me when playing with Mommy! Pyler... Hey Pyler, could you stop that? I'm growing in here! Anyways, I was just minding my business and he would sit on Mommy's lap and then lean back and play and then just sit on me! He better watch out. When I get bigger I'm going to punch him from inside and let him know I am here.

Anyways, I am now gettig more and more coordinated. Can do all of the following:
1. Bend my arms and legs( when I want to)
2. Suck on my thumb
3. Make faces
4. Go to the bathroom. ( that's right, my liver and spleen and working woohoo!)
5. Answer the age old question: which came first, the Mommy or the embryo? (the world may never know. But I do!)

- Bater

Monday, March 1, 2010

To Be Happy or Not to Be Happy, a Modern Baby Issue

You know being an embryo is quite an interesting experience. We go through so many different experiences and system checks. Yesterday I started the facial muscle system check. I tell you, this is just plain weird. Turns out that this thing called a brain actually controls my muscles all around my body. Well, it started with my face. It keeps smiling then frowning and then grimacing and then starting back over. I literally can't decide if I am happy or not because I keep changing my facial features. Weird! I also woke up this morning to a fur coat! That's right, it turns out that my "Lanugo" is coming in. No it's not a deadly disease, it's a system of small white or semi transparent hair that grows all over my body. I was getting a little cold, so my body produced this. So now you know! I am an out of control, can't be happy, mad or sad, small little Sasquatch in the womb. I tell ya, growing up is just plain weird!

- Bater