Monday, May 31, 2010

Homeward Bound

Today we head home from our vacation. It's a sad day. I have enjoyed our stay here and have had such a wonderful time performing for Grandma and Grandpa, even though they may not have seen me doing it! I like to turn over and over now. It's what I call the cork screw. Very fun! Well I don't look forward to the seatbelt, but it will be a necessary evil. Well, time for bed!

- Bater

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Happy Week Day!

It's official. I am 27 weeks today and this is my last week of the second trimester. I've come a LONG way! I am now 14 1/2 inches long and weigh 2 pounds. Effectively, I am more like a cauliflower in weight! I have to say that this is the moment I have been waiting for! I can open my eyes! Woohoo! I blink them and close them! It's awesome! Also, I am waking and sleeping now on a more regular schedule. There is one concern for me: hiccups! I have heard about them, they seem just plain uncomfortable! I don't think I have had any yet, but I sure don't want them! Boy howdy, growing up is fun, but hiccups can just pass me by...I hope! Any ways, we are all having fun on vacation. I got to help Mommy sew on a really cool sewing machine that grandma has. We sewed for a while! Anyways, well back to sleep. We will SEE you tomorrow. Literally! I can see! WOOHOO!

- Bater

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Daddy's big whoops

So Daddy forgot to help me write my blog this morning. We're just having so much fun on vacation! Here are some of the highlights of our trip so far.

-the sump pump club at Grandma and Grandpa B's new house
-car rides
-shopping with my aunt, cousin, and Great Grandma. Now that I think about it, that was a lot of girls.... Lucky for me Mommy only bought boy stuff for my room. Lots of things with monkeys. What's she trying to say? Hmmm... Oh and some rings because I made her fingers swell.
-I did get to try a blizzard for the first time! It was pretty good! Nice and cool. Although Mommy did sneak some chocolate in there. Oh well. It wasn't that bad.

I want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Grandma M yesterday and my Aunt E (he, he! Aunt E that's funny....) today! Next year I'll be able to tell them myself....well, sort of!)

- Bater

Friday, May 28, 2010

Road Warriors!

It's time for another trip! I am SO excited for this trip! I get to meet a pair of my Grandparents for the first time! Daddy has helped me to surprise my grandparents, so I hope it is all good! I'm coming world! Well off to the open road and fun times.

- Bater

P.S. - I know I have to wear a seatbelt, but I am officially annoyed. Humph!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Mutant Ninja Baby From Beyond!

I am stealth by night. You cannot see me. I lurk just below the surface! Mommy waits, trying to feel me kick and so I wait. Once she doesn't expect it, I give her a kick and a Hi-ya! "and I'd kick her sir!" I am...the Mutant Ninja Baby From the Beyond!

Last night I just could NOT get comfortable! I kept kicking and moving and twisting and turning. I went from laying down to sitting up to being diagonal. I kicked and punched trying to make things soft. I even tried pushing on Mommy's Tummy to make it bigger for me. Nothing worked. So when she laid down finally for bed I started kicking again and I put on a show! Daddy even saw Mommy's tummy move! So, for a limited
Time, I will be performing in Mommy's tummy. I'll be here all week! ;)

- Bater

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


I love video game controllers! Last night, after I had hung my hammock on Mommy's nerves, I sat back and was enjoying myself when all of a sudden a massive earthquake hit! I didn't know what was happening! Then, it all changed. My hammock was weathering the quake just fine! It went back and forth and was quite fun. I had to pay attention to realize that: Mommy was playing a racing game with Daddy, and had placed the controller on her Tummy. That made the quake! I loved it! After they stopped playing I kept moving and squirming trying to make the hammock work again! It was awesome. So now you know! Whew! Now I can go back to sleep.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Life on The Diagonal!

So it starts to get more and more boring the more your senses develop! You learn to hear, touch, smell, taste and feel while only 2 of the 5 are really used! So to remedy this problem and solve the dillemma, I am now diagonal in Mommy's tummy! I can't help it! It adds some variety to my life and allows for me to explore at the same time. Did you know that when you look at the inside of a Mommy's tummy through eyelids that everything is just the same!? Well I get to stay here and kick a lot more today. I have some pent up energy I need to release, so I will get some sleep and then wake up kicking! Until then, this is me, from the quarter turned world of Diag-an-world!

- Bater

Monday, May 24, 2010


That's right, I have them! I got tired of pushing with my hands and feet yesterday, so I started pushing with my elbows! It was awesome! I could dig right in and move around and make Mommy know I was there a lot more effectively. I think I am going to push with my elbows more often! The best technique to do it is to turn over on your head and then put your elbows out. Let gravity pull you down and push your elbows out naturally! It's great! Then when you want to hide inside, you just collapse the elbows and sneak around until you find a new place and bam! You're doing it again! -- this has been a message for the Babies Elbowing Stiffly To Induce Light Laughter, or BE STILL organization.

- Bater

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Happy Week Day!

Happy week day all! I'm 26 weeks today. Isn't that awesome! Well I am 14 inches long and 1 2/3 pounds. I'm effectively the size of a cucumber! So some interesting things are starting to happen. Just recently, I started to feel my chest move up and down involuntarily! I didn't tell it too! I swear! Amniotic fluid started going in and out in and out. I looked it up on google and found: I am breathing! Apparently it helps develop my lungs! Woohoo! That means I'm getting closer to getting out of here! Anyways, all is well, and the cabin was great! I like it there! Now time to sleep. Later.

- Bater

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Raining and a Cabin

Today will be SOOOOOOO cool! I get to go up with Mommy and Daddy to Mommy's family cabin! Daddy gets to clean! Heh heh heh! Anyways, we will get to clean and then stay there for a couple of hours. Mommy has mentioned to me in passing that the cabin is most likely the place we are going to escape to during the hot summer! I'm excited... I want to hike and swim and do all sorts of things. Anyways, we have to leave shortly so time for bed! I love traveling via the womb! The car however it is quite annoying my old nemesis the seatbelt is coming along. I will get him some day! Oh...and it's raining!

- Bater

Friday, May 21, 2010

Water Bags and Big Tummies

So I have to start by saying "Sorry Mommy" for having done something I didn't mean to. Yesterday was an interesting day. I started the day out by kicking a little here and there and then I got a little overly excited about the day. I was kicking when all of a sudden: poof! A large water bag deployed in my face! I Was pressed up against it and it was very uncomfortable! I later realized that it's the latest in safety equipment! If something hits Mommy in the stomach in just the right way, poof it will deploy! Well, as a result of that bag, Mommy's tummy has swolen considerably in size. I have been working on pumping the excess water out, but it is a slow process. I regret to say it, but I have a feeling that I am going to be doing this kind of thing more often than not. Sorry Mommy! Good thing there is only 3 months left, huh?

- Bater

Thursday, May 20, 2010


So all day yesterday Mommy was working on an art show for her students. Well, after 12 hours or more at school, and at about 9 pm, we finally got home. I was SO glad when Mommy finally stretched out and so subsequently I could as well. (did you like that? That was my word for the day!) Anyways, she kept bending over and twisting and squishing me! It was very uncomfortable! I am starting yet another protest group: Babies Against Squishing Humans! Or BASH, as I like to call it. It just occurred to me, I have become quite the philanthropist! I have tons of organizations with just one! Hmmmm time to start hiring.

- Bater

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Late Night

Wow! Mommy and Daddy stayed up with me last night until 1:30 in the morning! Mommy had a project she needed to get done for her work and Daddy was helping. I think quite possibly I will be inside a walking talking Zombie today! Anyways, all is well. I am growig and growing like crazy! I haves new game I like to play. I sit back and roll over so my face is outward towards Mommy's bellybutton. I then will simply start to push. I push and push and see how far I can make Mommy's tummy stretch! Mommy always thinks it's weird. I think it's fun.

- Bater

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tummy Crawlers

So last night I got freaked out. Here I was just minding my own business when I thought I saw a Tummy Crawler! They are creatures that look like red blood cells but are white! They come after you slowly and in groups! So I started swinging! I punched and kicked and turned and fought hard. In the end I won! It was a tail fit for the ancient Greeks. I went online trying to calm my nerves and then I found...they were white blood cells! Oops! I need those. Good thing I'm a lousy shot!

- Bater

Monday, May 17, 2010

Favorite Word of the Day: Protuberance

protuberance - something that bulges out or is protuberant or projects from its surroundings

I love this word! It explains me so well! I push and push and push and then Mommy squeeks! Yes, I do have to admit that not every time when I push, am I wanting more room. Sometimes I push just so I can hear Mommy squeek. It's so much fun. It's getting tighter in here, so I have to be careful when I move...I don't want to be too much of a protuberance to Mommy...ha ha ha! I made a funny!

- Bater

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Happy Week Day!

I am 25 weeks now. I am the size of a rutabaga. And I weigh 1 1/2 pounds. I'm starting to gain some fat. My hair is filling in and the pigment is starting to show! Well...I didn't get to help with the lawn! Daddy was outside and Mommy stayed inside. Poor Daddy worked for 7 hours straight of hard labor. He cleaned the garage out. Now he is exhausted. Oh well! That's what he gets for not letting me help! Humph! Also, I was just squished all day because Mommy was working on a quilt all day. She wouldn't stand up. Anyways, all is well and I am just growing like crazy! I'm supposed to be gaining 1/2 a pound a week now. This ought to be interesting! Time to go grab a snack and then go to sleep.

- Bater

Saturday, May 15, 2010

What To Do Today?

So yesterday, I had my monthly checkup! The Dr. tried to listen to my heart again. I moved and ran and moved. In the end she got what she wanted. Well, she gave me a clean bill of health, as if there was any doubt! Anyways, so today I want to do a lot. I think I want to help Mommy and Daddy with the yard. They haven't mowed it in like 3 weeks. It has rained too much. Then I want to help Daddy with the Garage, but Mommy won't let me. She is going to do something else. Oh well, what can you do. It's the life of a Baby. Off to sleep then wake up for food and claiming I helped! I love it!

- Bater

Friday, May 14, 2010

Training For Outside

So you probably never knew this but I am training more and more to get out of here. Yesterday and for the last few days I have been training for how it might feel to be outside. It's very similar to training for outerspace! I float around in here feeling no effects of gravity and then I flip around and twist and turn to get myself used to vertigo or other feelings that might come on! I flip and turn to make sure I am used to all sorts of feelings. One feeling that gets a lot of babies when they get outside, is the feeling that they are going to fall when held on their back. When they cry and their Daddy is holding them, their Daddy bounces and bounces furthering this sensation. This is bad. To all the Daddys out there: please...don't do this! This has been a message of the Babies for Better Sleeping Arrangements organization. For any donations, please feed my Mommy! Thank you.

- Bater

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Games and Candy

So I am so tired. I moved too much on tuesday, so I have to rest. Last night Mommy and I went over to Pyler and Widgie's house to play some games. I was tired so I didn't play any, but I did watch. Everyone played a game, pyler included, that involved passing around candy. The person who wins gets all the candy. Well... Pyler won! And everyone pushed the candy to him he said: "Wow!" (in quiet reverence). A few minutes later he said: "So cool". So as he won, I saw my chance. He had the energy producing candy! I waited until he sat on Mommy's lap and then: boom! I kicked and kicked and kicked! Pyler didn't listen. He wouldn't give me any candy. So here I am exhausted and so I am going to sleep! Humph!

- Bater

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fingernails and Growing

So I have noticed that I am starting to get longer fingernails. They are slowly but surely growing! Did you know, after looking this up online, that fingernails grow about 1.4 inches in a year! Crazy! That's like more than 1/12 my current size! WOA! Anyways...they are an interesting thing to watch grow. I know...I know grass is more fun to watch, however, it is only more fun to watch when you have grass and your eyes can open! Well, Daddy got to feel me really kick again last night. It was fun. I drew him in by kicking Mommy a whole bunch and flipping and turning. Once she told him I was kicking, I waited...and waited...then BOOM! He felt it. After kicking for a while, I stopped kicking.

- Bater

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Dangly Dangerous Thingy!

So...I am a thumb sucker! That's right, I'm sorry, but it comforts me! I love to suck on my thumb! I just started it three days ago. Last night Mommy bumped my arm while I was sucking on my thumb. You know, it's interesting the discussion people have about whether it is good for a baby to suck their thumb or even why we do it. Well...wouldn't you if you were the only one around? Wouldn't you if you didn't know what was going on and you were learning about your body? Well that's why. However, I do have to say, the reason I do it is for a little bit different reason: the dangly dangerous thingy in your mouth! Now, I have since researched and discovered this is called the uvula.

It was a dark and stormy night. Did my noir style scare you? No, it was while I was at school with Mommy. I wanted to explore my mouth. I was probing it with my fingers, when all of a sudden, Mommy bumped a table. My fingers slipped into the back of my mouth and I started this weird coughing type feeling! I didn't like it. So I started to probe with just my thumb. This prevents my finger from EVER hitting the uvula again! See...there is a reason. Now, how can I probe using my foot? Eh...that will need to wait until I am born!

- Bater

Monday, May 10, 2010

Racing and Appologies!

So, over the last little while, Mommy has noticed that there is a lot of pressure on her Tummy. Generally, this pressure is coming from my legs and from me pushing out. What she doesn't know, is that I am really just playing my new game: UMBRacing 2010! It is SOOOOOOO Cool! I have a steering wheel and a whole lot of accessories that make me feel like I am really racing a car. It's fun. There is a fan that blows air in your face, for me they are bubbles, as there is no air in here. I like to go really fast. So, every now and then, I get a little carried away with shifting gears and honking the horn, that I push just a little too much taking corners, and so it gets a little uncomfortable! Sorry Mommy! I didn't mean to. I will work on not pushing too energetically. Anyways, things are well, I am just growing, kicking, pushing and sleeping. There isn't much to do in here, but to just grow. Consider me being in suspended grow-ination. I am just floating waiting for the day the bubble will burst and I will be set free!


Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Week Day! And Happy Mother's Day! is Mother's Day and it is Week 24! Happy Mother's Day to all you women out there and of course to MY Mommy! Sorry all, but she's the best!

Well I gained 4 ounces over the last week. I am over 1 foot long, head to heel, and am about the size of a corn cob! I'm noticing that my taste buds are growing in more and more. I am also noticing that there is a strange feeling in my lungs are starting to form. There is a substance being formed as well known as surfactant. It inflates my lungs when I get out of here. Kinda cool!

Anyways... I am just kicking like crazy now. I like it when I can just spread out and kick. I don't like it when Mommy sits down and squishes me. So now I kick harder. Last night I was trying to make myself sick. I was spinning and spinning and spinning, but I couldn't go fast enough. Oh well, maybe next time! Well off to bed!

- Bater

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Day about Daddy

So Daddy helped me write a great post this morning before his photo shoot, but the silly program he used to type it up didn't publish it and didn't save it. He was so unhappy. So mommy thought she would help out without telling Daddy. He, he. Mommy is very sneaky sometimes.

Tomorrow may be Mother's Day and my Week Day, but today, Mommy and I decided to make it a Day about Daddy. Mommy had a little chat with me yesterday and told me I needed to move more for Daddy, so he can feel me too. I try, but his hand is so nice and warm it just makes me relax. Mommy pokes me and squishes me (unintentionally of course), and her students are so loud, I just can't settle down. But Daddy, he's calmer, he get's really quiet so he can make sure he feels me move, and he put's his hand on me right where I usually kick. At that point though, I just want to cuddle up with his hand and relax. He's such a good Daddy. He's so excited I'm coming, and he's so anxious to get his projects done around the house so it will be safe for me to come. He has also done such a good job taking care of Mommy, especially those times when I kept pushing her sick button. I know that wasn't very nice of me, but I am doing better. Except when Mommy eats too much chocolate or lettuce. I think she snuck some lettuce by me last night. She put it with some yummy chicken and mushrooms to disguise it. I told you she was sneaky.

Yesterday my friend Pyler was singing so loud I heard him, and I just started dancing. I think it was a song called, "You've got a friend in me," but I'm not sure because he kept singing, "Are you kidding me?" Either way I loved it. He's got a great voice, nice and loud. Maybe I can take singing lessons from him!

I also wanted to let my Grandma Mimi (Code names of course) know that I love the giant rabbit she made for me! I can't wait until I'm big enough to wrestle it! Coach has been working with me, but the rabbit is still 3 times taller than I am. I'll win some day, though! And those ears look ripe for chewing.

Anyway, Happy Day about Daddy! I love you, Daddy! I can't wait to hear what your jokes really sound like! They are kind of garbled in here. I already know they are marvelous, though. I'll try and kick nice and big for you from now on.


Friday, May 7, 2010

Getting Tighter

So things are definitely getting tighter. Here I am growing like crazy, and I can't get enough room! I had to turn onto my side. I almost can't sit straight up and down now. Mommy's tummy is just streching and streching. Did you know, if I wiggle a little bit, while I am on my side, you can see my little tucus move Mommy's tummy?! It's so tight in here, I can't get my early excersises in. I need more room! So, I'm going to put an addition onto Mommy's tummy! That's right...I'm going to call in a favor and get a tummy framer to come over and push out the walls of her tummy and make a little more room! I'm hoping they can do it by Sunday, that way I can laze around for a bit. Being a baby is hard work!

- Bater

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mad Bater and the Tummydome

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it's play time!" I had SOOOOO much fun last night! I was flopping and kicking and jumping and bouncing! So much fun! There is a Movie I have heard about called mad max and the thunderdome. Never seen it, but heard about the dome that has bungies and harnesses and you get to bounce all around, so I have dubbed Mommy's womb as the Tummydome! I bounced and jiggled and squirmed! Mommy could see me moving in her tummy! It was fun to play. I am, however, extemely tired, so I am going to go grab a box of red bloodcells and go lay down! Until tomorrow!

- Bater

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A New Venture: Bater Mayes

So I think I am going to start a new business. I am going to make money selling, online of course, a new product. It is a pair of handle bars that attach to Mommy's stomach on the inside. They run horizontal to the ground. You then can use them to do pull ups on, repel, or help yourself in and out of the womb. They are a helper. I am going to call them: Love Handles. This will be my pitch:

Bater Mayes here for Love Handles. Have you ever wanted to be more prepared for that special day? Have you ever fallen in the womb? Do you want to make Julian fries? Then the Love Handles are for you. They can help you get that body you are looking for or help you pick yourself up. Simply attach them to the abdominal wall and let sit for 2 hours. You will love your freedom: only 3 easy payments of 1.5 million red bloodcells. Order now!

I think this I going to make tons!

- Bater

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A New Trampoline

You know what? I found the coolest new trampoline! I found that if I sit up, straight up and down in Mommy's tummy and wait for Daddy to put his hand on Mommy's tummy, I can push off his hand and BOING I get a good bounce! I do it really stealth like. I start punching here and there. That generally lures him in. I punch on one side and he places his hand there. If I don't like where he is at, I punch opposite of him, so he moves his hand. Once he is in position, I kick off! WooHoo! It's fun to bounce and play. Now I am tired and off to bed I go.

- Bater

Monday, May 3, 2010

How to Make Daddy Sick

Answer? Have a co-worker with a 24 hour flu show up to work and then 3 days later make Daddy work really hard. Let that simmer for 12 hours and voilĂ ! You have a sick Daddy. Mommy won't kiss him on the lips and I squirm away when they hug! I do NOT need to be sick! Anyways, yesterday was a normal day. I didn't do much. I was recovering from my SOUR training. Anyways, last night I just hung out. It was the longest night since I've been in here. I didn't kick too much, but oh the hours of silence and then the hours of incesant snoring from Daddy! Oh how I wish I couldn't hear until AFTER I was born! Oh well, now I can go to sleep with the soft gentle voices of 500+ school children! Oh the joy and the serenity!

- Bater

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Happy Week Day!

23 weeks! Wow! I'm 11 inches long and weigh about like a large mango! Almost 1 pound. I'm starting to feel some weird stuff happening in my chest. I went to the Internet and found that I have blood vessels that are starting to grow in my chest. I'm starting to prepare to breathe! Isn't that cool? Also, my sense of hearing is improving. I can hear all sorts of things: music, a vaccuum, dogs barking and all sorts of stuff. My sense of motion is getting better too, I can feel when Mommy is Dancing. Yesterday I could feel that Mommy and Daddy were helping move again, so I laid low. I started kicking again around 12 in the morning. It was fun! I found a soft spot and started kicking. I really had fun. Well, got go sleep some more, until tomorrow...

- Bater

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Brown, Pink and Blue...

So Mommy noticed I didn't move very much yesterday. Mainly, that was because I was so enamored by the painting process! Some friends of Mommy and Daddy, Pyler and Widgie's parents, are moving into their new house and they are painting up a storm! They have blues and pinks and browns all over! I was just sitting there wondering why they weren't using something like a firework in the can of paint or something that would make things faster! Oh well. Manual labor I guess. Well, now we have to go help them move their stuff, so that is my cue to lay low. Until tomorrow!

- Bater