Hard Times

So the economy is really bad. I am a little worried about what will actually happen to me when I get out, so I wanted to start early. I am posting my Resume now in hopes that in 22 years or more from now, I will be able to find a job:

Bater(soon to have a name)

---

Mommy's stomach - baterepistles.blogspot.com - baterepistles@gmail.com

Purpose: To allow me to gain experience that will enable me to exceed expectations and to overcome the current economic issues.

Poppy Seed - Week 1-4

• Helped my body grow from an implantation to the size of Poppy Seed
• Majored in Bio-Molecular re-organization
• Managed to make something from nothing.

Sesame Seed - Week 5

• Moved large quantities of red blood cells through a highly delicate machine
• Developed a method for expanding and contracting large quantities of air

Lentil Bean - Week 6

• Helped begin and continue the manipulation of several millions of cells.
• Managed and coordinated the creation of structures intricately woven together

Skills

• Bio-Molecular re-organization
• Spelunking/Mountain climbing
• Hotair Ballooning
• Typing 45 wpm
• HTML, Javascript, CSS
• Photography

Interests

• Eating
• Moving
• Having fun with Mommy

-Bater

Happy Week Day!

So WOW! I have doubled in size since last week! I am now the size of a blueberry. I am ready to take on any lentil bean in my way. I have a tail that is slowly shrinking and my intestines are partially in my umbilical cord. Also my hands and feet are starting to grow, WOOHOO!

So I have a new favorite movie: Charlie and the chocolate factory ( the older version). I just love it when violet blows up into a blueberry...she looks just like me! Anyways, I am also growing my eyelids, pancreas, and liver. Did I mention as well that my skin is forming as well, albeit it is paper thin. Go me!

-Bater

Top 10 cravings (thing mommy can eat)

1. Mild Totasted onion bagels with butter salt and pepper.
2. Boiled eggs
3. Deli meats
4. Cheese sticks
5. Any vegetables - not raw celery
6. Apple sauce
7. Beans and rice
8. Hot sauce
9. Peanut butter sandwiches
10. Yogurt

-Bater


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A New Camera

So after getting my picture taken and realizing that they REALLY botched the picture, I mean they didn't even get my smile they must have set their aperature to f.000000001, I decided to get me a camera. It arrived last night, the UMB7 Mark III. Slick camera. Comes with the latest HD video for biology films!

Anyways, I took the camera out of the box and plugged it into the power supply, the UMBilical cord, and started blasting away. I couldn't use ambient light because it's dark in here, at least I think it is, I still don't have my eyes I wish they would grow already. Anyways, I snapped a COOL picture of a red bloodcell but it died on me. So turned to some self portraiture. It didn't turn out. I tried the auto timer but I had to run into the button then swim out front, remember no legs or arms. I realized it was attached to me through the cord, so all I got was Mommy's tummy. There was a point where I was snapping away when Mommy rolled over on me. So I pulled the magic muscle and made her go potty. Anyways to you who like pictures:



Looking out from within
ISO - 100 @ 2.8 for 1/250

-Bater

Growling at daddy

So yesterday, Daddy put his hand on mommy's stomach and I growled at him. I don't like it when I don't have food and people put their hands on Mommy's stomach. Do you know of any other wild animal that you approach and try to touch wihout presenting food? So for all you people out there who want to pet me: bring an offering of food!

-Bater

Hello World!

public class Bater{
  public static void main(String[] args){
     System.out.println("Hello World!");
     System.out.println("I have a heart beat!");
  }
}

Hello world!
I have a heart beat!

I'm the white blob.

-Bater

Today's the Day!

Today is my first picture! Woohoo! I've got my tuxedo, my cologne, my room is cleaned, my mouth is forming so I'm going to try and smile, and my nerves are coming in so I'm nervous! Sorry Mommy, that's probably why you are weak kneed. I noticed yesterday that I was taking WAY too much energy from Mommy so she was extra exhausted. I need to make sure to leave enough energy for her to function. Oops! Any ways, today is the big day. My first Dr.'s appointment and they are going to take my picture. I am excited. Mommy and Daddy are excited too. Hopefully they can get to keep a picture and send me a copy. I will post it here when I get one. Today will be awesome!

-Bater