Milk

So, now that I have been around for a week, I want to share with you a lesson I have learned: milk, you can't live without it and you can't stay awake with it! Milk creates what people come to know as a milk coma. It's bad stuff if that happens, because then you can't stay awake and watch your surroundings. Milk does good things, but comas I can do without. If you aren't careful Daddy will take your picture. (If you want a copy, ask Daddy!)

-Bater

I...Have...Hands!

They are there. They are small, in comparison to Daddy's, but they are there. I want to use them so much, but every time I tell my brain to move them, they simply smack me in the face. They are hands. Glorious hands. I try to grab my binkie, but I end up punching Daddy in the face. I try to hoist myself up, but I get a handful of chest hair. Boy, I sure hope I can get a hang of this. My feet are next.

-Bater

Diabolical

Yes. I am diabolical. I love to poop my diaper. Then once changed, I like to do it again. Once done, I like to pee. Oh and also, spit up on everything over and over again. He he he, Mommy and Daddy never had a chance.

-Bater

PeePee Teepee

Dear Mommy and Daddy, I just learned how to pee when it gets cold! He he he. Daddy, that will teach you to change my diaper without covering me! I spent my first night at home, and boy it just HAD to be the coldest night in a long time. I was cold and Mommy was cold, but we made it through. All is well, I am now sleeping.

P.S. - it's not a tiny stream, it's a gusher. Fire hoses across America, eat your heart! 1/2 PSI.

-Bater

I ... HATE ... GAS!

Ouch! That's all I have to say. I woke up last night to Horrendous Gas and diarrhea. There wasn't much Mommy and Daddy could do except stay up with me and pray. At one point Daddy moved my legs back and forth and I exploded on him! It was awesome. Anyways, I am feeling WAY better now and we get to go home today! Woohoo!

-Bater

Hello World! Finally!

Well, I am finally here! I made it! I love my Mommy and Daddy. They are so cool. Now, I have to tell you: I AM HUNGRY! I want to say thank you to all the nurses and Drs. who have taken care of me. I want to let you know, I didn't cry because I didn't like you. It wasn't you it was me! I wanted to be with my Mommy. By the way I LOVE to cuddle. It took me a while to write this one because I kept falling asleep at the computer. I couldn't hold my head up. It was easier with amniotic fluid. Anyways, cya!




-Bater

Ha Ha

Ha Ha! Fooled you! Still here! I guess I should have already come out. Now they are going to force me out. Oh well! See ya soon.

-Bater

I Figured It Out! Here I Come!

As the title says: I figured it out! I'm coming out! Now, no one worry, I haven't done this before, but tons of other babies have before. Now, how do I get my head out? See you soon!

-Bater

Time Overdue

So I was looking at the eviction notice Grandma gave me and I just realized: I am overdue! Oops. I didn't mean to go this long, I was just perfectly content with staying inside! So here I am just trying to get the last things together. I need to figure out what to wear and then, what am I going to say to Mommy and Daddy when I get out? I don't know, but I have to hurry. Grandma may come and forcibly kick me out! Well, see you soon!

-Bater

Dr. Appointment

So we have another Dr. appointment today. I don't know what will happen, but they keep poking and prodding me. I really don't like them. Mommy and Daddy are really excited for me to come, but I still don't know what to wear. I don't want to show up naked to my birth day, but I may have to. Things are getting even tighter every day. Well, time to sleep.

-Bater

The Serenade

So, Grandma got in yesterday morning. It has been so much fun having her around. I will say, though, it has been a little weird: grandma serenaded me with her Nose Flute. Yes a nose flute. I didn't even know those things existed! I so want to try one when I get out of here! I was so fascinated yesterday that I had one delivered last night. However, I have to tell you, I failed miserably. First, I guess you need air. Amniotic fluid doesn't whistle. Second when you can't control your mouth, it doesn't work. And finally, if you can't control your arms you just kind of smack yourself in the face. So I posted it on eBay. I hope I have one when I get older. Well until tomorrow...

-Bater

Getting Grandma

Daddy is going to get Grandma H from the airport this morning so he'll have to help me write more later.


-Bater