Milk

So, now that I have been around for a week, I want to share with you a lesson I have learned: milk, you can't live without it and you can't stay awake with it! Milk creates what people come to know as a milk coma. It's bad stuff if that happens, because then you can't stay awake and watch your surroundings. Milk does good things, but comas I can do without. If you aren't careful Daddy will take your picture. (If you want a copy, ask Daddy!)

-Bater

I...Have...Hands!

They are there. They are small, in comparison to Daddy's, but they are there. I want to use them so much, but every time I tell my brain to move them, they simply smack me in the face. They are hands. Glorious hands. I try to grab my binkie, but I end up punching Daddy in the face. I try to hoist myself up, but I get a handful of chest hair. Boy, I sure hope I can get a hang of this. My feet are next.

-Bater

Diabolical

Yes. I am diabolical. I love to poop my diaper. Then once changed, I like to do it again. Once done, I like to pee. Oh and also, spit up on everything over and over again. He he he, Mommy and Daddy never had a chance.

-Bater

PeePee Teepee

Dear Mommy and Daddy, I just learned how to pee when it gets cold! He he he. Daddy, that will teach you to change my diaper without covering me! I spent my first night at home, and boy it just HAD to be the coldest night in a long time. I was cold and Mommy was cold, but we made it through. All is well, I am now sleeping.

P.S. - it's not a tiny stream, it's a gusher. Fire hoses across America, eat your heart! 1/2 PSI.

-Bater

I ... HATE ... GAS!

Ouch! That's all I have to say. I woke up last night to Horrendous Gas and diarrhea. There wasn't much Mommy and Daddy could do except stay up with me and pray. At one point Daddy moved my legs back and forth and I exploded on him! It was awesome. Anyways, I am feeling WAY better now and we get to go home today! Woohoo!

-Bater

Hello World! Finally!

Well, I am finally here! I made it! I love my Mommy and Daddy. They are so cool. Now, I have to tell you: I AM HUNGRY! I want to say thank you to all the nurses and Drs. who have taken care of me. I want to let you know, I didn't cry because I didn't like you. It wasn't you it was me! I wanted to be with my Mommy. By the way I LOVE to cuddle. It took me a while to write this one because I kept falling asleep at the computer. I couldn't hold my head up. It was easier with amniotic fluid. Anyways, cya!




-Bater

Ha Ha

Ha Ha! Fooled you! Still here! I guess I should have already come out. Now they are going to force me out. Oh well! See ya soon.

-Bater

I Figured It Out! Here I Come!

As the title says: I figured it out! I'm coming out! Now, no one worry, I haven't done this before, but tons of other babies have before. Now, how do I get my head out? See you soon!

-Bater

Time Overdue

So I was looking at the eviction notice Grandma gave me and I just realized: I am overdue! Oops. I didn't mean to go this long, I was just perfectly content with staying inside! So here I am just trying to get the last things together. I need to figure out what to wear and then, what am I going to say to Mommy and Daddy when I get out? I don't know, but I have to hurry. Grandma may come and forcibly kick me out! Well, see you soon!

-Bater

Dr. Appointment

So we have another Dr. appointment today. I don't know what will happen, but they keep poking and prodding me. I really don't like them. Mommy and Daddy are really excited for me to come, but I still don't know what to wear. I don't want to show up naked to my birth day, but I may have to. Things are getting even tighter every day. Well, time to sleep.

-Bater

The Serenade

So, Grandma got in yesterday morning. It has been so much fun having her around. I will say, though, it has been a little weird: grandma serenaded me with her Nose Flute. Yes a nose flute. I didn't even know those things existed! I so want to try one when I get out of here! I was so fascinated yesterday that I had one delivered last night. However, I have to tell you, I failed miserably. First, I guess you need air. Amniotic fluid doesn't whistle. Second when you can't control your mouth, it doesn't work. And finally, if you can't control your arms you just kind of smack yourself in the face. So I posted it on eBay. I hope I have one when I get older. Well until tomorrow...

-Bater

Getting Grandma

Daddy is going to get Grandma H from the airport this morning so he'll have to help me write more later.


-Bater

The Tale of The Carnivorous Baby

Once upon a time, long long ago, there lived a baby, still in the womb, who was called Bater. This baby was special. He was always doing something and loved to hear his Parents' voices. This baby, however, had a very interesting habit: he liked meat at 9:00 in the evening! He would make his Mommy make his Daddy go out and get meat, cheese and bread whenever he was hungry. He was carnivorous. It was soon after that he came into the world, only to find he could only have milk until he was older. Sad. Sad Bater! Now, how can I get the milk with meat supplement?

Still waiting.

-Bater

Moments of Clarity

Have you ever had a moment in your life when everything just becomes absolutely clear and all makes sense? Well that happened to me last night. Last night I was just sitting there pushing trying to figure out what to do, when all of a sudden it all made perfect sense: I was tuned sideways. I guess in all the hustle and bustle I forgot to make sure my head was always down. I had gotten turned on my side. Well, I'm back to where I should be. I hope to be coming out soon. Remember, it just takes time.

-Bater

Happy Week Day! - Due Date

Well, I am 40 weeks today! Wow. I am almost 20 inches long and weigh about like a small pumpkin. I am slowly making my way down. I guess I am supposed to come today, but I don't know if I am done or not. Anyways, I got an eviction notice from Grandma as well. Just this morning. It says, and I quote:

Final Eviction Notice. Please note that you have be given your final notice to vacate premises of mommy. Failure to do so will cause mass anxiety in grandparents and relatives alike.

I think she means business!

-Bater

The Wonderful World of Markers

So yesterday Mommy was organizing her markers. I was looking out through the UMBCam, and WOW, she has a LOT of markers! I really want to get out now! I moved down a little more because of it, but I am still a little hesitant about it. We'll see what happens. Anyways, time to sleep.

-Bater

Getting On Mommy's Nerves

So this will be a quick one. I am getting on Mommy's nerves. Literally. I am kicking, and by accident I am running into the nerves in her legs. Sorry Mommy! I'm just trying to get down, but you keep getting in the way. Oh well, at least you know I am consistant.

-Bater

On Sale Now...The Bater Snow Globe!

Get them now while supplies last! The new Bater Snow Globes! These are very unique: the baby just floats in the water. When you turn it over and over, the baby stays where he's at! Well it turns out...I am in a LOT of water. The Dr. examined me yesterday and when she would push on me I would just float away! I think I have an answer as to why...I didn't want to say anything but... Last week I was doing some dancing when I backed into the kitchen faucet and the faucet busted! Water went everywhere. I got it turned off but Mommy wouldn't let anything in that I could clean with, so now I am just floating around in my own personal swimming pool. Now, if I could find some white flakes that don't melt in water, and are biodegradable, then I would be the first baby snow globe in the world! Oh well, I guess I should just pop the bubble and let some water out.

-Bater

Slept In

So I just realized...I slept in! I slept the whole day through yesterday! I couldn't believe it. I woke up last night to a wonderful surprise...Ice cream. Mommy had some ice cream so I let her know I liked it...then she bribed me to come out. She bribed me with more ice cream. Well...maybe it is worth it.

-Bater

TIRED...The Tale of The Party

So I am sooooo tired! Last night, I stayed up all night kicking and moving as I was partying for the last time! I am now really tired! I have also worked my way lower in Mommy's tummy. I hope I get to where I should be today. I look forward to putting a face to my Mommy and Daddy's voices. Well, I'm tired. Time to sleep. Until tomorrow!

-Bater